Confession of A Single Lady

I'm writing this at the risk of sounding bitter to the whole world. But based on what I've learned from modern people, no matter what you write on the internet, and what you feel when you write them; people will make assumption. And they will genuinely believe that what they mind believe has to be the truth. So, I decided not to care and write what I think anyway, because keeping my feelings in is bad for my health.

Okay. Here goes. I just went through a breakup. Not the mutual sort of breakup like I've experienced before in my life. This one was rather messy. However, I'm not going to discuss about my breakup. I'm going to talk about me. Post-breakup me. Present day me.

Times have passed after my breakup, and the truth is, I feel genuinely happy. I'm still surrounded by people who genuinely love me. I have an amazing job, with various opportunities ahead. I can spend more time with people I care about, and do things I enjoy. And as Depeche Mode put it, I haven't felt so alive in years.
 
So, if I'm so happy, why am I writing this piece? Because we are living in a society that associates breakups with failure. A society that has the tendency to put the blame on someone when something bad happens. A society that thinks they can judge when they are actually outside looking in, through a dirty window. A society that believes women can never possibly be happy without a man by her side. No wonder Theodore Twombly said in one of his love letters that the world is in his shit list.

Fixing a broken heart? :-P

I never have understood the pressure my single friends felt before. I could not comprehend how my friends--my beautiful, smart, self-sufficient friends--can allow themselves be pushed around by what society thinks. I thought it was because I have more resilience to let logic rule over emotion, because by that time, I was also unmarried. Thus, I was single in a way. Apparently I was wrong. It was simply because all through my adult life, I was blissfully happy in a relationship.

Reality struck me right after breakup. There are ones who indicated by their words and action that I unable to 'act how a woman supposed to act' and people on the other extreme who clearly stated how 'men are dicks.' What bothers me was these people are the ones who do not understand what truly happened behind the breakup. People who, in my humble opinion, better not to say anything simply because I never asked them to.

However, that's not what bothers me the most. People are entitled for their opinion, even when they have no basis to support it. What bothers me the most is how my 'friends' with their 'good intentions' disrespect my boundaries and tries to push their own agenda into my life. These people, are the ones who are part of a society that believes women can never possibly be happy without a man by her side. Yes, you guessed right. The overly active matchmakers.

Don't get me wrong, I love being in love. I love being in a relationship. I think it's one of the best feelings in the world. And I don't mind someone plays matchmaker as long as they do that in a respectful manner. I do mind when these matchmakers are being too pushy and disrespects my boundaries and privacy.

For me, the best part of being in love is the process of falling in love itself. This is not something that can be faked or artificially accelerated. I take relationships very seriously, and I don't want to rush into one. Especially not after ending a 7.5 years commitment. I'm not a robot. I cannot just reset and reboot. I need time to work things out. And having 'friends' handing out my personal information such as name, address, or phone number to random people I don't even know about certainly does not help me tying up loose ends.

I don't think that this is a wailing of a heartbroken girl. This is simply a letter from an annoyed woman to the society. Despite what you think is best for me, I know better of what I need. Most importantly, no one knows better of my feelings but myself. So please, if you truly think of me as your friend can you please respect me and back off when I say that you're starting to get annoying? Can you please just be happy by seeing me happy?