Happy?

"So are you happy with yourself?"

In response, I told you that the current me is the best version of me so far.
The me that I can love the most.
The me I can accept the most.

To tell you the truth, Babe, there are times when I still have a hard time being happy with me.
There's still so much of me that I cannot bring myself to like.
So much of me that is still not the way I want them to be.
So much of me that I want to change, but never had the willpower to do so.

I am hanging in a balance, Babe. I always have.
Maybe I always will be...

A small unfriendly gesture or the slightest failure can send me to a downward spiral.
No, I don't show it to anyone, but it happens.
A lot more time than I'd like it to.
And every single time I need to drag myself out, with a little help from my friends.

But despite all that, I know better than to hate myself.
Because once I start hating me, everything I have spent years restoring will crumble to pieces.
By then, I don't even know if I would have enough strength to stand back up again...