Good Gone Girl

"Hi Cil,...Is it possible for a woman to fake the violence that she experience?" 
Of course it is, Mas. As possible as it is for a man to fake love.

Human beings are equipped with means of self preservation. One of them is our ability to deceive. We learn the art of deception from early on: ever since we know that the truth can hurt us (that is, when our mom asked us who broke the vase in the living room). We learn that sometimes, lies is more convenient than the truth. However, Gone Girl went far beyond your usual "I got stuck in traffic" lie. The movie speaks about an elaborate scheme of carefully planned deception; which has one and only one goal: to punish.

Because life is only filled with
sunshine and rainbows!
...NOT!

Meet Amy. She spent her life carefully weaving lies that suits her need.  Not that I blame her, though. She was raised in a pretentious society. Her pretentious parents even created a pseudo-world where an "enhanced" version of herself, the Amazing Amy, lives. It's like from the very beginning she was taught that she was not enough. Her whole live was a charade; thus, she learned to show only the side of her that the society wanted to see.

Of course we cannot only blame the ever annoying society, although they're asking for it. To be fair, Amy does shows symptoms of sociopathy to begin with. If not, she would not be able to do the things she did so lightheartedly. That is also not her fault. Mental illness is not a matter of choice. Although in her case, it has never been detected; and an illness, any illness, left untreated is a million times more dangerous.

Let's go back to the question I received a couple of days ago. The one I put on the beginning of this piece. I realize that the answer I gave was stereotypical (unfortunately, I think of this answer after I had given the enquirer another less awesome answer. Damn!). Women played victims and men played perpetrators. But I think that's exactly the problem. Society (yay! We're back to blaming the society! My favorite spawn of satan.) see women in a disadvantaged place. And Amy knows this.

My friend told me a very interesting phrase when we were discussing about this issue: Power Bottom. Amy knows that being a victim can be beneficial to her. She doesn't mind being at the bottom, as long as she's in control. Pathetic? Maybe. But you have to admit that this kind of move is really strategic. And for Amy, it worked. Thrice.

What's interesting about the movie is, you cannot even tell how much of Amy's story was real. Yes of course, Nick cheated; but the other thing Amy said he did to her? I'm fairly convinced he did not do most of it. Maybe Amy was hurt by the betrayal (considering that she has the ability to feel), but I think mostly, she was just bored.

"What are you thinking? How are you feeling?
What have we done to each other? What will we do?"

I can totally see why Amy did the thing she did, though. Everyone has their own deep dark thought that they secretly want to see become reality. Nick even opened the movie with the following gory line: "When I think of my wife, I always think of the back of her head. I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brain, trying to get answers." He also wanted Amy to be punished. The difference between Nick and Amy is, he still have a moral compass that prevented him from doing the wicked things he wanted to do, whereas Amy is mentally unrestricted.


As sick as Amy may be, I can't help but to feel a hint of envy. For a while, I wonder how it feels to be so unapologetic. To be able to do everything you wanted to do without any emotional consequences. But then again, I'm grateful for the same thing that restricts me also gives me the ability to feel.